Little Sister...

      Lil Sister, Big Sister. I am both, yep the middle child. But I don’t think I had what people call middle child syndrome as a child, but do as an adult. I found a website and this is what is said about this middle child thing… “The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.” Ok, well I do not look for direction from my older brother. And I do not fight for attention. I blend in so well in fact, I feel invisible when with my family sometimes.

  Zac and I do not always get along. We say hurtful things to each other, and that is who we are. I live my life, and he lives his. I do not agree with lots of things he says, and does, and most of the time I should keep my opinion to myself, but I don’t. And he calls me a bitch who thinks I am better than him. And possibly, a part of me does, but I just know how smart he is and know he can do better things with his time and money and life. I love my brother, and it makes me crazy to see him bust his butt at work to come home to a messed up house and no dinner and 2\3 of his kids 1400 miles away.  

  I do not want to get into the details of all of our disagreements, but just know Zac, I want you to be happy. The last time I saw you I did not see happiness. I wish I knew what to say or what I could do to get you there, and I have my thoughts on the subject, but you do not want to hear them… So just, please work on that. Being Happy. That’s what I want for you.