What kind of friend am I? I guess I do not really know how to answer that. I guess maybe not as good as I would like to think I am. I can go weeks without hearing from any of my 'friends' some of which when we talk its like no time has gone by and others its awkward... I would like to think I am a good friend who is honest and trustworthy. I feel like most of these 'friends' keep me at a distance. I don't understand it, but I have learned to live with it. After 20 some odd years of friends coming in and out of my life, and being hurt by many of them and hurting some myself, I realize I will never have a lot of close friends. I will have many acquaintances, and a couple really close friends.
You know, I do not have a lot of 'life experience' like many. I grew up with an insanely unstable childhood. I had enough excitement then, that I tried my best to make sure i would have a stable lifestyle as an adult/mother/wife. I fell in love and married young, no i have not had a lot of sex partners, have not had any problems with drugs or alcohol, and do not fight with people. I am not a partier, and have lived in this same little town most of my life. But this does not mean i think I am better than any one who has has experiences with such things. I am also aware that I may be the only person in America, or that I know who has had no intimate contact of any sort with anyone but my husband. But just because you have kissed or more with more than one person does not mean I judge. I do not smoke, have never done drugs, does not mean i judge you for doing it. I did not drink until I was 21, but that does not mean I care if you did!
I am no saint, and I care about people, and do not judge them for their experiences. But feel judged for my lack of.
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