Mom, Mommy, Mama...ect. I love it! Being a mom has been amazing! And well gross! I have been cried on spit-up on, had bugars wiped on me been peed, and pooped on! My lovely son (said with slight sarcasm) has a thing with putting things in his mouth and eating it! My biggest peeve, the animals hair! Yes, I said it, the cat and dog hair, he eats it! I have no idea how to get him to stop, I think I may have to start punish him him by taking away time on the tv and DS when I see him doing this. When he was in diapers, I remember one day thinking to myself how when I thought of being a mom, I did not imagine pulling hair out of my baby's butt! I also on that day did not think I would have to help pull it out years later when he is 5! "Touch your toes and push like when your pooping" was not a sentence I thought I would ever use!
Ok, so now that I freaked out all my lovely friends with no kids, I will share the better part! Everyday my son will stop at random times and say something like 'So mom, how was your day?' or "dad, how was work?' or "dad, do I look like you?' Lol! The many random things I learn from from my 5 year old are amazing! I will post them in a later blog. I also like when he is my lil cuddle bunny, which is almost never these days! But when it happens, I soak it all in! His new compliment these days is 'cutie pie.' The other day he informed me that our friend's daughter, Victoria, is a cutie pie like Auralia! "Huh mom, Aurailia is a cutie pie!?" I would have to agree!
Being a mom is the best thing ever, I plan to write more about some of our random adventures!
Share some cute, gross, silly or whatever stories with me about your kiddo's!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Me as a Friend...
What kind of friend am I? I guess I do not really know how to answer that. I guess maybe not as good as I would like to think I am. I can go weeks without hearing from any of my 'friends' some of which when we talk its like no time has gone by and others its awkward... I would like to think I am a good friend who is honest and trustworthy. I feel like most of these 'friends' keep me at a distance. I don't understand it, but I have learned to live with it. After 20 some odd years of friends coming in and out of my life, and being hurt by many of them and hurting some myself, I realize I will never have a lot of close friends. I will have many acquaintances, and a couple really close friends.
You know, I do not have a lot of 'life experience' like many. I grew up with an insanely unstable childhood. I had enough excitement then, that I tried my best to make sure i would have a stable lifestyle as an adult/mother/wife. I fell in love and married young, no i have not had a lot of sex partners, have not had any problems with drugs or alcohol, and do not fight with people. I am not a partier, and have lived in this same little town most of my life. But this does not mean i think I am better than any one who has has experiences with such things. I am also aware that I may be the only person in America, or that I know who has had no intimate contact of any sort with anyone but my husband. But just because you have kissed or more with more than one person does not mean I judge. I do not smoke, have never done drugs, does not mean i judge you for doing it. I did not drink until I was 21, but that does not mean I care if you did!
I am no saint, and I care about people, and do not judge them for their experiences. But feel judged for my lack of.
You know, I do not have a lot of 'life experience' like many. I grew up with an insanely unstable childhood. I had enough excitement then, that I tried my best to make sure i would have a stable lifestyle as an adult/mother/wife. I fell in love and married young, no i have not had a lot of sex partners, have not had any problems with drugs or alcohol, and do not fight with people. I am not a partier, and have lived in this same little town most of my life. But this does not mean i think I am better than any one who has has experiences with such things. I am also aware that I may be the only person in America, or that I know who has had no intimate contact of any sort with anyone but my husband. But just because you have kissed or more with more than one person does not mean I judge. I do not smoke, have never done drugs, does not mean i judge you for doing it. I did not drink until I was 21, but that does not mean I care if you did!
I am no saint, and I care about people, and do not judge them for their experiences. But feel judged for my lack of.
Monday, January 10, 2011
My Friends...
Yes, believe it or not, I have a friend or two. I often wonder how I have lived in the same town for 23-24 ish years, and have so few friends. I know a big part of it was starting in 7th grade I home schooled. I am shy, I guess around people I do not know, I am perceived as stand offish at first impressions. I guess this can result in a lack of many friends. I also am a bit of a home body, not huge on going out, not a great dancer...ect. I guess it is not easy to make friends when you are at home most of the time. I also am not confident that many people like me anyway. I put too much thought into people liking me instead of just being me and if you do not like me, then its your loss. I want friends. I want to be liked. I am lame!
I have a couple very close friends. I think...
My friend who I refer to as my soul mate is truly one I would do just about anything for, I'd give her my kidney! Lol! The thing is, as close as we are, she does not trust me with everything. It is hard for me sometimes to understand, but as long as she knows I am here no matter what, it's all I can do. You may wonder how I have decided this and a great example is many years ago she was dating a guy, casually, not a relationship or any thing like that. Well he broke it off as soon as he thought she was calling him the 'b' word, ya know, boyfriend. Well we were talking about him and I asked about sex, (we are adults here) and she denied ever doing that with him, I believed her and that was that. Well a few weeks later she comes to me and lets me know she is going to have a baby. I was shocked, could not believe she was knocked up by her ex-fiancée! She was shocked I would think it was him! Well turns out it was the casually dating guy who she never slept with :/ I love her, and do not understand why she is not 100% trusting of me. She will talk to co-workers about things she would never talk to be about and we have been friends for 10 years now! I accept this is how our friendship is, but at times wonder what I did wrong to make her feel she can not trust me with everything.
Another friend of mine, we tell each other everything, like your husband is an ass! Or dude what did you eat, you smell like something died in your butt three weeks ago!?! Lol! She is awesome, I know if I am having a problem I can call her and she will listen, and carefully give brutal advise! We did not always have this friendship though. For a time we barely spoke, and in spite of our issues then we always trusted each other to watch each others kids. Weird right? At this time and before it she had a friend who was her 'soul mate'. I felt like an outsider looking in when I was around those two. When shit hit the fan one day, I was blamed, hurt and said hurtful things as well. After much time those relationships were mended, and I wish I knew then what I know now. But can not fix the past, and am grateful for the present friendship with her and look forward to the future.
Childhood friends? Well I do not have many left. I see one now and again from time to time, and have a couple on Facebook. Why is it we are so distant? It is really mostly my fault. I am no good at calling people back. Not at All! I had a great friend as kids, we still see each other around town from time to time. I know the biggest reason we are not friends is because she got tired of me promising to call her, she waited by the phone I am sure, and I never called. I am better about that these days, but regret letting that friendship fade off like it did.
I have a couple very close friends. I think...
My friend who I refer to as my soul mate is truly one I would do just about anything for, I'd give her my kidney! Lol! The thing is, as close as we are, she does not trust me with everything. It is hard for me sometimes to understand, but as long as she knows I am here no matter what, it's all I can do. You may wonder how I have decided this and a great example is many years ago she was dating a guy, casually, not a relationship or any thing like that. Well he broke it off as soon as he thought she was calling him the 'b' word, ya know, boyfriend. Well we were talking about him and I asked about sex, (we are adults here) and she denied ever doing that with him, I believed her and that was that. Well a few weeks later she comes to me and lets me know she is going to have a baby. I was shocked, could not believe she was knocked up by her ex-fiancée! She was shocked I would think it was him! Well turns out it was the casually dating guy who she never slept with :/ I love her, and do not understand why she is not 100% trusting of me. She will talk to co-workers about things she would never talk to be about and we have been friends for 10 years now! I accept this is how our friendship is, but at times wonder what I did wrong to make her feel she can not trust me with everything.
Another friend of mine, we tell each other everything, like your husband is an ass! Or dude what did you eat, you smell like something died in your butt three weeks ago!?! Lol! She is awesome, I know if I am having a problem I can call her and she will listen, and carefully give brutal advise! We did not always have this friendship though. For a time we barely spoke, and in spite of our issues then we always trusted each other to watch each others kids. Weird right? At this time and before it she had a friend who was her 'soul mate'. I felt like an outsider looking in when I was around those two. When shit hit the fan one day, I was blamed, hurt and said hurtful things as well. After much time those relationships were mended, and I wish I knew then what I know now. But can not fix the past, and am grateful for the present friendship with her and look forward to the future.
Childhood friends? Well I do not have many left. I see one now and again from time to time, and have a couple on Facebook. Why is it we are so distant? It is really mostly my fault. I am no good at calling people back. Not at All! I had a great friend as kids, we still see each other around town from time to time. I know the biggest reason we are not friends is because she got tired of me promising to call her, she waited by the phone I am sure, and I never called. I am better about that these days, but regret letting that friendship fade off like it did.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Big Sister...
Big sister is weird, since lil brother is taller, and has lots more 'life' experiences than I do. Uriah is one of the smartest and dumbest people I know. Smart, school is boring for him ,he gets it all, and gets really good grades. I have to study my ass of, and in some classes barely make it! Dumb, he got involved with bad people, and did some really stupid shit! BUT he is turning that all around. I think he will be very successful one day, and this makes me happy for him.
Our relationship is much different than that of everyone else in my family. We have this unspoken understanding as adults. As children a lot of the time it was just the two of us. We were good friends, and worst enemies. one of my favorite memories was when Uriah was a freshman, and this kid (Mike) who easily had 60+ lbs on Uriah was threatening to kick his ass. Uriah has this love of Mt.Dew, and Mike was between Uriah and his Dew, so I offered to walk with Uriah to the machine, we brought Kamper, our lil maybe 40lb doggie with us. Hehe...Mike, huge guy, was scared shitless of our dog! So as we walked to the machine and Mike walked right for us I told him to back off. He didn't. I just had to say one word in a sad voice "ow" to Kamper and immediately his hair was standing and teeth were showing! Mike said get your dog away from me, I said stay the frick (i didn't say frick(sorry mom)) away from my brother, he said we have some business to finish, I said Kamper too has some unfinished business, I then reached to let him off the leash, and Mike took off like a lil wiener! It was so much fun! Lol, we walked Kamper to the machine often, yet Mike never bothered us again! Lol!
Then on the enemy side of our relationship, Uriah gave me my first, and only black eye! Awesome right! Oh well, brothers and sisters fight, I'm sure I got him in the balls once or twice! (sorry Rachael, hope this doesn't effect his ability to reproduce. Didn't effect Zac, so I imagine he'll be good :))
Anyway, I love my taller than me lil brother, and I look forward to seeing where life takes him! :D
Our relationship is much different than that of everyone else in my family. We have this unspoken understanding as adults. As children a lot of the time it was just the two of us. We were good friends, and worst enemies. one of my favorite memories was when Uriah was a freshman, and this kid (Mike) who easily had 60+ lbs on Uriah was threatening to kick his ass. Uriah has this love of Mt.Dew, and Mike was between Uriah and his Dew, so I offered to walk with Uriah to the machine, we brought Kamper, our lil maybe 40lb doggie with us. Hehe...Mike, huge guy, was scared shitless of our dog! So as we walked to the machine and Mike walked right for us I told him to back off. He didn't. I just had to say one word in a sad voice "ow" to Kamper and immediately his hair was standing and teeth were showing! Mike said get your dog away from me, I said stay the frick (i didn't say frick(sorry mom)) away from my brother, he said we have some business to finish, I said Kamper too has some unfinished business, I then reached to let him off the leash, and Mike took off like a lil wiener! It was so much fun! Lol, we walked Kamper to the machine often, yet Mike never bothered us again! Lol!
Then on the enemy side of our relationship, Uriah gave me my first, and only black eye! Awesome right! Oh well, brothers and sisters fight, I'm sure I got him in the balls once or twice! (sorry Rachael, hope this doesn't effect his ability to reproduce. Didn't effect Zac, so I imagine he'll be good :))
Anyway, I love my taller than me lil brother, and I look forward to seeing where life takes him! :D
Monday, January 3, 2011
Little Sister...
Lil Sister, Big Sister. I am both, yep the middle child. But I don’t think I had what people call middle child syndrome as a child, but do as an adult. I found a website and this is what is said about this middle child thing… “The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.” Ok, well I do not look for direction from my older brother. And I do not fight for attention. I blend in so well in fact, I feel invisible when with my family sometimes.
Zac and I do not always get along. We say hurtful things to each other, and that is who we are. I live my life, and he lives his. I do not agree with lots of things he says, and does, and most of the time I should keep my opinion to myself, but I don’t. And he calls me a bitch who thinks I am better than him. And possibly, a part of me does, but I just know how smart he is and know he can do better things with his time and money and life. I love my brother, and it makes me crazy to see him bust his butt at work to come home to a messed up house and no dinner and 2\3 of his kids 1400 miles away.
I do not want to get into the details of all of our disagreements, but just know Zac, I want you to be happy. The last time I saw you I did not see happiness. I wish I knew what to say or what I could do to get you there, and I have my thoughts on the subject, but you do not want to hear them… So just, please work on that. Being Happy. That’s what I want for you.
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