Friends are family we choose....

 I have plenty of chosen family. We have many different types of relationships. I am going through some changes with some of my friends. I am moving. I have friends who are extremely excited, and friends who are the opposite. I am writing this for all of you.
  Dear Friends who I am moving away from,
      I love you!! I want you to know that my hopes for our relationship is that it stays the same or we grow closer. I would hate to see 58.43 miles come between us. I still have my phone, computer and my door open for you, well, the door may be physically closed, especially when its snowing!! Lol! I can not go through life with out you, and I too have shed a tear or two over this move. I hope you know I am happy, I have wanted Greeley for years, and I hope you are happy for me too.
   Dear Friends I am moving closer to,
       PARTY AT OUR HOUSE!! Lol!! Kidding, sorta. I am excited to be closer to you! I am excited to be a part of your kid's lives, and hope they potty train fast! Lol!! I am excited for the bar-be-ques and stuff....I am excited that when we are done hanging out it will only take me 15 mins to drive home! Im excited you can come to my house and it will only take you 15 mins to get there! I know 15 mins is a little long, but I am thinking if your anything like me you will hit every red light between here and there!
   Anyway to all my chosen family, I love you, and am looking forward to the future!!! : ) 

I got Married!!

  Ten and a half years ago!! I went through a bag I have saved from my wedding full of cards given to us from out family and friends. I read through them today, an d I want to share some of the quotes inside of them:

   "Marriage is not just a "happily ever after" ending...but a lifetime of "I choose to love you" beginnings."

   "The goal in marriage is not to thank alike, But to think together."

   "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times with the same person"

   "Love is true when you don't see eye to eye, but still walk hand in hand."


 I am not sure how we have come as far as we have in the past ten and a half years, but here we are, one child, one dog, and one cat later. We are leaving the town we have both called home for most of our lives, and headed to a place we have wanted to call home for years. All I can dream for our future is for God to continue to bless our home with many, many more years of health and happiness. : )

Mother...Again??

 No, not yet anyway, but it is (has been) in the works for a wile now. Its funny, how easy it was to make the decision to get pregnant with my Anthony, and well, to get pregnant. Now, here I sit 5 years later, and the same decision does not come as easy. Why not? Well, I now have a 5 year old who can make his own chocolate milk, sleeps through the night, and wipes his own butt! He is easy to find a babysitter for, and starting this fall will be in school from 8-3 Monday through Friday!  Why would I want to insert a baby into the picture and stir up some of this comfort we have fallen used to? I, a few years ago had decided I was done, one kid was enough for me! I was working at a job I hated, was going through a tough time with my husband, and Anthony was in the beginning stages of the 'terrible two's" and the last thing I could imagine doing was bring in another person into the mix.  My husband and I worked on us, got back on the right track, I changed jobs, and Anthony turned 4, and life was good. I decided, well, maybe I do want to add another person into the mix, so after much discussion with the husband, we decided to give it a go. So me in my fantasy world thought great, I will get off the pill and be pregnant within two or three months like I did the first time! Nope.. Not so much. Here I am almost 10 months off the pill and no baby yet. I know you hear this story all the time, but I just did not think it would be my story. So I am working with my doctor to try and see what may be causing me to not conceive. Until that happens, or not, I am just enjoying my life and am grateful for my awesome husband, Adam, and my sweet boy,  Anthony,  everyday! Even if I do not get the blessing of having another child, I will feel whole and complete with the small family we are!  <3

Marriage Happens...

But what happened to marriage? When did it turn into something people can just walk away from? When did the vows that were exchanged become just words?  

   This is what typical vows look like:

  I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, ____, take you, ____, for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_vows)

So let’s break it down.."good times and bad", but how bad? How bad do you let it get before it is too much? Do you think people give up without trying these days? Irreconcilable differences? What is that? She smokes, I do not like it, so I do not love her anymore and I want a divorce..He spends too much money on 'junk' and I am pinching pennies to buy milk for the kids. She wants to paint the bathroom blue and I want it green...I don't know... 

  In sickness and in health...how sick? Like ok, seems dumb to walk out on the flu, but what would you do if your partner had cancer? Would you stick it out? Or worse, your partner is in an accident and they are paralyzed and mentally damaged. Do you stay? I watched a touching story of a couple on American Idol, this man is there singing to make a better life for his fiancée. She is on a chair and cannot communicate as a result of a car accident. He stayed. He is there caring for his soul mate, loving her, being with her. Could I do that? Could you? 

   For better or worse...Worse than what? Losing everything, no money no car no home? What do you do? How did we get there? Was it your fault? Mine? Ours? How do you know when you can't handle anything else? What makes a person decide that this person I once vowed to love forever is just not worth it anymore? 

   For richer or poorer...how poor? Is money and stuff really a factor in whether or not we love someone? When did a person's income become a deciding factor in whether or not they get a second date? Heck..a first date? 

   Love, Honor, and Cherish...I was not sure how to go about this part, but I read this and thought it fit:

 “We have all heard the saying that love isn't always enough, which may be why honor and cherish go hand in hand with love in wedding vows.

Love

Love has many different definitions, and we all love in different ways. However, think about some of these terms, and see how they fit your relationship.

·         Adore

·         Respect

·         Admire

·         Show affection

·         Show devotion

·         Find irresistible

·         Unselfishness

·         Loyalty

·         Care

·         Passion

·         Tenderness

Honor

Do we really honor each other? To some extent, most couples do, but how much more could we honor our spouses if we really think about what this term means?

·         Respect

·         Admiration

·         Integrity

·         Deference

·         To treat honorably

·         To fulfill terms of an agreement (vows)

Cherish

To cherish someone is to love and honor them as much if not more than you love yourself. It is the most meaningful of the terms, in my opinion. People can love each other, or care for each other, without cherishing one another. If we truly cherish each other, how can we have anything but happy and lasting marriages?

·         To keep first in one's mind

·         To treasure another

·         To value deeply

·         To hold dear

·         To prize above all else

·         To treat with gentleness and tender care

·         To esteem

·         To appreciate

·         To treat with utmost importance

(http://marriage.families.com/blog/love-honor-and-cherish)

 Can we do this enough?   Adore, respect, treat honorably, or keep first in one’s mind?

I have been reading the blog of an acquaintance; she gave the blog their family name and has several entries. In these entries you hear her mention her husband very rarely. The entire ‘about me is about her and her kids, not once in that section does she mention her husband or that she is married. When did our kids become number one to our spouse? News flash! Our kids are going to leave us! Then what? You will not know the man you are married to because you spent 18+ years ignoring him!  

   How many times have you gone out and heard some guy saying terrible things about his wife? Or had guys come to you asking if you would be willing to cheat on your husband? Or seen girls who look for men who are married?   Whatever happened to married means off limits? Girls in this town get catty and bitchy about girls who look at their man, yet how many of them have been the ‘other woman’? We, ladies, need to stop this! If you do not want girls looking at your guy, stop looking at other guy’s yourself!

   So many people around me I have seen in bad relationships, start talking to “a friend” of the opposite sex, and that is like playing with fire. DON’T DO THAT!! Call your mom/sister/cousin, but not a man! I don’t care if right now he is a friend, this is how things turn into more than friendship! You know this, I am sure I am not the only one who has seen it. 

Ok…I don’t know where I am going with this….Has anyone else had thoughts like this really long one?

  Care to share?? 

Love is work...

  Making your spouse feel loved is not always an easy job. You have to work at it everyday.
  I was listening to a radio program the other day and a woman was talking about a 'love jar' she started with her husband. they each had a jar with 5 pieces of paper in them. Each piece of paper had one thing their spouse could do to show them they care. This woman had a feeling about what her husbands papers were going to say, but was surprised when she pulled the first one and it said make me a fruit salad. A fruit salad makes her husband feel like she cares. So she now makes a fruit salad regularly so he knows she cares.
  I like to do little things like have a fire going and have the house all warm when he gets home from work. Remembering to turn on the mattress warmer a couple hours before bedtime so he has a warm bed to get into, having a clean house and a warm supper ready to eat. Today I sent him an e-mail before he got to his office just to say good morning and I love you. These things show him I love and appreciate him, and I love doing it!
  What could he do to show he loves me? He thinks lots of love making and bringing home a paycheck..Lol!
  Really, all I want is for him to talk to me, about everything. And help with little things, like getting Anthony ready for bed. Last night he loaded the dishwasher! Yay!
  What do you do to make your spouse feel you love and appreciate them? What can they do to make you feel loved and appreciated?

Wife...

 Yep, at the ripe young age of 18 I became a wife! It was not a hard transition for me. I was the only girl in a family with two brothers. My mom when I was a young teenager went on the road long haul, and I took care of the household a lot on my own. I was raised to do dishes as soon as I could reach, cooked my first box of macaroni and cheese when I was 8yrs old and have been cooking ever since. I was told, growing up, I would make a great housewife/pastors wife. Well, I got half of it right! I'm too rebellious for a preachin' man! Lol! I wanted just that, the house, the husband the kids, a dog, and a cat. I wanted to be the Leave it to Beaver family, where all problems are solved in a half hour. 

  Well, turns out life is not quite that simple.

  Marriage is not easy. It has its ups and downs and curve balls get thrown. I wish all problems were as easy to fix as they make it look on the Cosby show, or what have you, but its not. It takes work everyday and your biggest problem is not what your husband is sneaking to eat in the kitchen. But thats the key, you have to make an effort to make things good everyday....

Mother...

    Mom, Mommy, Mama...ect. I love it! Being a mom has been amazing! And well gross! I have been cried on spit-up on, had bugars wiped on me been peed, and pooped on! My lovely son (said with slight sarcasm) has a thing with putting things in his mouth and eating it! My biggest peeve, the animals hair! Yes, I said it, the cat and dog hair, he eats it! I have no idea how to get him to stop, I think I may have to start punish him him by taking away time on the tv and DS when I see him doing this. When he was in diapers, I remember one day thinking to myself how when I thought of being a mom, I did not imagine pulling hair out of my baby's butt! I also on that day did not think I would have to help pull it out years later when he is 5! "Touch your toes and push like when your pooping" was not a sentence I thought I would ever use!
   Ok, so now that I freaked out all my lovely friends with no kids, I will share the better part! Everyday my son will stop at random times and say something like 'So mom, how was your day?' or "dad, how was work?' or "dad, do I look like you?' Lol! The many random things I learn from from my 5 year old are amazing! I will post them in a later blog. I also like when he is my lil cuddle bunny, which is almost never these days! But when it happens, I soak it all in! His new compliment these days is 'cutie pie.' The other day he informed me that our friend's daughter, Victoria, is a cutie pie like Auralia!  "Huh mom, Aurailia is a cutie pie!?" I would have to agree!
  Being a mom is the best thing ever, I plan to write more about some of our random adventures!
  Share some cute, gross, silly or whatever stories with me about your kiddo's!